Smiley: Don’t disaster with Ninja Squirrel!

October 1, 2017 - accent chair

T.W. tells of an animal encounter:

“We once had an brave squirrel come down a funnel and censor in a TV apparatus cabinet. Realizing what primary digs he had found, he would not be coaxed out of his new cavern for fruit, nuts or other treats.

“So, being a mind trust that we are, it was hypothesized that if we used a emporium vac we competence siphon him out and safely flog his squirrel boundary to a curb!

“Needless to say, that squirrel was most smarter than a emporium vac idea, and hold quick to his position.

“The subsequent devise was to emanate a gauntlet of cot cushions heading to a door, and provoke him adequate with a hang that he would run behind outside.

“The distrurbance partial went as planned, though as he was creation his approach to a door, with me and my hang tighten behind, he jumped 3 feet in a atmosphere and karate kicked me passed in a arm — three times!

“He will be perpetually remembered, with respect, as Ninja Squirrel!”

“yPhone” needed

Jim Ehrlicher says, “I’ve had it with my iPhone. Autocorrect changes all we type, and Siri doesn’t know my accent.

“I certain wish someone would rise a YatPhone!”

Rough translation

Speaking of denunciation barriers, Vince Caruso says, “Your new stories about anticipating a lavatory in Paris reminded me of a initial time we was in Rome, in uniform, behind in ’59.

“Needing a rest room, and being of Sicilian skirmish on both sides, we incited to an Italian infantryman subsequent to me, and asked in my best Italian, ‘Dove (where) bah-cows-sa (phonetic)?’

“He had no thought what we was saying. we wrote it off as presumably only being a opposite dialect.

“Many years later, we was relating this to someone, and she laughed during me, afterwards asked if we knew what denunciation we was speaking. we replied, ‘Italian?’

“She sensitive me we was vocalization English. The aged Italians were saying, ‘back house’ (outhouse, or residence out back), though with their complicated accent it came out as ‘bah-cows-sa.’

“To this day, Italians in a New Orleans area still impute to a lavatory as bah-cows-sa, and will swear that is a Italian word for bathroom.”

Finishing touch 

Oneal Isaac says, “Lately, we have turn spooky with carrying a good crater of coffee after eating during a excellent restaurant.

“My bullion customary is a coffee once served during Chalet Brandt (Baton Rouge’s superb continental grill — now, sadly, no more).

“Does anybody know where we can find a good crater of coffee? Or during a really least, how to make a crater of coffee like they done during Chalet Brandt?

“My crony Maxine Crump once told me about how she interviewed a famous cook and asked him about how to tell a good restaurant.

“He told her, ‘Coffee is a cheapest object on a menu, though it is a final thing we remember carrying during that restaurant. It is your final impression. You wish to make a good impression!.'”

Special People Dept.

  • Ray Matherne, of French Settlement, celebrates his 96th birthday on Monday, Oct. 2.
  • Carolyn “Punkin” and Michael Landaiche applaud their 69th anniversary on Monday, Oct. 2.

Grammar 101

John R. Baker asks, “As we review your contention of grammatical concerns, we was struck by dual questions.

“If an invalid is postulated a conjugal visit, are he and his caller authorised to conjugate?

“And if a inmate’s ask for such a revisit is declined, is that a declension?”

Thought for a Day

From Chet Siemion, of Denham Springs: “Love is such a invalid commodity. You can’t even give it away. People always lapse it.”

Just we wait

Karen Poirrier, of Lutcher, says, “Dining with friends, a theme of women vital longer than group became a topic.

“Reasons offering enclosed a obvious: presence of a fittest, improved genes, healthier life style, concentration on nourishment and exercise.

“After burdensome a list, a associate diner, Albert Laiche, famous for his humor, leaned behind in his chair and exclaimed: ‘Because when God calls a woman, she yells, “Wait! I’m not finished dressing!”‘”

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